"I don't like this episode of Black Mirror"

One of the best-yet-worst memes I've seen to explain our current situation.

David Bird Cognitive Hypnotherapy Leighton Buzzard and Milton Keynes, Help with Anger, Control Anger

Social Distancing and Self-Isolation are now part of everyday lingo. Uncertainty seems one of the only certainties. We've been told not to work. Yet for some, that could leave them without food. Let alone able to make rent.

People are scared.

Some are confused about what they can-and-can't do. Some are doing what they shouldn't. Some are making tough decisions. And some are angry and disgusted by those decisions.

I don't have to tell you it's a difficult time. You know it. You can see it. And so there's something we'd all do well to remember:

Everyone's doing the best they can with what they've got.

Even if it doesn't make sense to us. Even if it seems they're being unfair. Mindless. Stupid. Or even damn-right bloody dangerous.

They're still doing their best.

It can feel empowering to get angry. There's momentum to it. Energy. It can get things moving. But if judgement is cast, vitriol spewed, and people are shamed. It might bring temporary relief. But does it solve the real problem?

Anger often comes from lack of control. A lack of safety. And underneath it is usually hurt or fear. And, of course, it's easier to vent. "People shouldn't do that!". And it feels good when others agree. But that alone doesn't help engage, and create understanding. It doesn't help educate. It doesn't help bring new perspective.

It doesn't create positive change.

I'm not suggesting we turn a blind eye. Nor that we simply turn on those who are angry either. They, too, are still doing their best. For some, the thought of taking action in a perspective-changing and educating way can create fear of a different kind. And from a survival perspective, being angry trumps being helpless.

But let's keep in mind the outcome we want. By tapping into our compassion. By remembering we're all in this together. Let's start a dialogue. Listen. Understand.

Maybe then we can find a path to change where everyone wins.

(Struggling with anger, how to control your emotions, or how to be more compassionate? Cognitive Hypnotherapy in Leighton Buzzard can help you. Get in touch to learn how)